what do you do for fun on a rainy day? what is your favorite healthy & unhealthy snack?
When Im not working, I might cut music remixes or read. Ill play with ASL talent songs or spin.
if you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I pretty much wear purple every day in my real life anyway. When Im bot in uniform, Im wearing purple. But probably black because it alway looks good.
if you had to be an animal what would you be?
A red panda. Or an otter. Both are pretty care free, cute, and nap all day.
how high are the highest heels you own/can successfully walk in??
I dislike platforms. So 4 inches. But I prefer strappy heels rather than pumps.
what is the thought or reason that motivates you the most to keep going? :)
Right now, pageants. But also my neuro disability. I know if I dont keep my body in goo shape it will deteriorate.
December 2: Words & Feelings
1. I donated blood today. But I went on an almost empty stomach so I feel like crap. I woke up late because I havnt been sleeping. I grabbed a Nutella filled croissant (I made them last night) and a bottle of water and zipped to the clinic. I watched Hairspray and now here I am. Feeling like crap and cant workout.
2. I haven’t been sleeping again. I hate how hen people text me when Im sleeping they get upset when I don’t reply, or reply in gibberish. Im sorry if Im asleep at 1am. I know Im usually awake, but for the sake of my mental health, sometimes I just gotta do it.
3. My daytime habits are of the fritz again. I cant get a good schedule for the life of me. Days keep going by where I cant shower or I cant brush my teeth or I cant eat. It sounds nuts, but I’m literally too busy to perform daily functions. My house is a mess. I would love to clean but I spread myself so thin. I cant deal.
4. I can’t say no. Good God, I just need to say no. Whether it be volunteering or picking up shifts at work or giving away shifts at work or giving people rides. I will drop whatever Im doing to do something for someone if they ask. I want to say no! But its like internally I cant face letting someone down. Even if they don’t matter to me. I find myself making plans for things I don’t want to do, I don’t have time to do, and I cant afford to do. Someone help me say no.
5. Im lonely.
I need help.
Has anything ever happened to you while at work or school, that only you notice but if anyone noticed would be very embarrassing. But you cant fix it until you get home?
Today at work I randomly noticed while squatting to pet a dog that I had torn my pants right in the crotch. I have no idea when. So then the rest of my shift I was so self conscious! And of course that day I agreed to pull tags. Meaning lots of bending over and squatting. Oh, and it was me and a bunch of guy coworkers.
I pray no one noticed.